


Trust

by Jairephix



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: HELLA SPOILERS, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, One Shot, also feels so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 13:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jairephix/pseuds/Jairephix
Summary: Taako had never had problems lying, so why did it sound so wrong now?----Spoilers for Episodes 58 and on.





	Trust

"Nobody, I trust nobody, nothing." Even as the words left his lips, easier than breathing, something deep down twisted. Taako had never had problems lying, so why did it sound so wrong now?

Lying was how he survived, especially after the Glamour Springs Incident, and Sazed. A couple of years before he could even utter his own name without feeling the soul-crushing guilt of what happened. Illusion spells over and over, a different face for different towns, for different nights where he wheeled his way into beds, stole what wasn't nailed down, and ran.

Static crashed angrily in his mind as he continued to rant, sharply shutting down the others. People he should trust, people who kept him safe, who wanted him around. It was like a knife, digging into his mind as he tried to be aloof, tried to play up his own importance, tried to shut them out. Again.

Who was it? Who was it living in his memories that made this lie feel so much worse than the others, made his gut twist with guilt? Kravitz, maybe? He had trusted the reaper enough to admit his biggest fear, why he kept throwing himself in danger. They knew Magnus, at least in the beginning, didn't care so much for his own life, subconciously seeking peace in death for his loss, to atone for a sin he thought he bore. For Taako, these other two bumbling idiots were the only things that felt steady, normal in a life that was otherwise...not. If he left the Bureau, then, who would care if he survived?

No. No, not Kravitz, as much as he wished it was the man causing this twisting wrongness in his gut. There was someone, someone he could almost _feel_  in his memories, that was there but he couldn't remember _who_ and it was driving him mad. Always there, always beside him...until they weren't. It hurt to think on, to dwell on at all. There were sleepless nights he felt the same way, and he just. Couldn't. Remember.

The frustration built up, the guilt built up, until he couldn't focus on it any more. They needed to plan, needed to follow through.

Taako wasn't expecting to remember it all a few hours later.

 

* * *

 

He wasn't expecting the numbness, the sudden crushing weight. _Lup._ How could he forget _Lup_ , his own twin sister, the only person who was always, _always_  there for him? Despite everything, despite the world, the universe, despite losing faith in every other living being, she was always there for him.

Until she wasn't.

If Lucretia hadn't taken it away, if she hadn't stolen Lup from him, stolen the only family who never turned her back on him, he could have found her. He could have remembered the damn Umbrastaff, could have cared more when they found her skeleton deep in Wave Echo Cave. Barry would have been able to help find her. They would have...

What? Gone to find the Starblaster, drive it out of this reality, and she'd be back? And stolen Magnus away from all the memories and joy he had with Julia. Stolen Merle away from his family, his kids. Left behind Angus, the only person he'd ever bothered to teach magic to, who looked up to them all and made him actually feel important? This world would have crumpled without them in it. Didn't they realize that with the stupid Temporal Chalice? All that guilt from the Relic Wars, all over again. And the worst part is half the crew wouldn't. Remember. Any. Of it.

He was so damn angry.

And he just didn't care any more.

 

* * *

 

Minutes, mere moments from memory flooding back in so fast he could have been ill on the floor, Taako watched Angus blow away the chunk of The Hunger, eyes wide with panic. "It wasn't me, sir!"

"I know." He did. _Of course_ he did. How did he miss all those signs? _Of course_ he knew that it wasn't Angus. There was only one wizard who could hurl fireballs like that. He knew the Umbrastaff swallowed the magic and power of defeated wizards. Hell, hadn't that almost happened to his stupid-ass glaive in the duel with Lup, to test out her item's power? And she had turned herself into a lich of all things. Why wouldn't it have swallowed her up the moment she died?

He knew she'd be there. She was always by his side, wasn't she?

The staff snapped cleanly over his knee, and he grinned to see his sister once more, full of fury and fire, and ready to kick some goddamn ass.

**Author's Note:**

> I literally started writing this in my head as I went to go make myself dinner. Can I finish my other fanfics? Hell no. Can I write a drabble for a podcast I literally have yet to finish? Hell yes. (Don't worry, I have just like, the last 2/3 of the very last episode left.
> 
> I have a soft spot for Taako. I can see a world in which he and I are not very dissimilar in our thoughts and actions. This just felt like the most natural way his thoughts played out during these scenes. Also, motherfucking Lup.


End file.
